(no subject)

[plantfood]

It's only Hal with him on the beach today; the other dogs tend to stick close to Sam and Sam is with Lucy, but Hal, somehow, she's become his dog. He never knew her previous owner, knows only that he and River were close, and that, at least, makes him think that, whoever he was, he must have been a good guy. But he doesn't know what he was like, doesn't know what it is about him that makes Hal want to stay by his side most of the time, but he finds he doesn't mind. Before the island he was certainly not a dog person, preferring the company of his small cat, but things change.

The island changes things.

It's early evening, the sun is still at least a half hour from dipping behind the trees and Mathias doesn't want to move from this spot. He's gone for a dive, his scuba equipment is sitting on the sand beside him and he's still dripping, but he makes no move to reach for his towel. Sometimes, he knows, awful things happen to the people here. They lose their loved ones and people die, the island isn't a safe haven from that, but at this moment, he's happy to be here. He's happy to be alive.

There are plants in the hut he shares with Lucy and Sam, only two, one in the main room and one in his bedroom, but they're there. Even a few months ago he might have had trouble sleeping with them there, but no longer. Back home, he's dead. Acceptance of that has been a long time coming, but he thinks it's finally here. He's dead. Henrich is dead. Stacy is dead.

But not now and not here.

Smiling faintly, he reaches over and strokes Hal's fur, then lifts his hand to wave to the figure coming down the beach toward him.

Comments

[justsookie]

It hasn't been an easy road back to normalcy. After twenty-odd years of living that same small life in the backwater down of Bon Temps, the past two years have been something else entirely, and there are days when Sookie thinks that it's understandable that she can't seem to get her bearings straight. Her whole life's been one of waitressing, of hearing thoughts where there should only be silence, and climbing under the covers when it all gets to be too much. She's a simple girl, and life was supposed to follow accordingly. Maybe she'd get married, have kids, live that standard life, but she had no problem with that. She never wanted to shine beyond the limits of that small town.

In the end, she hadn't been given the choice.

Whatever remnants of her old life Sookie was able to cling to after vampires came out of the coffin, the island's torn from her hands entirely. Sometimes, she doesn't mind. There's something exhilarating about being that child again, being shown multiple roads and not being forced down every single one. Having everyone tell her that there are things that she can accomplish, let no one give her any other impression. It's been grand, and she's learned, and she's lived in a way that she thought out of her reach years ago.

But she's a country girl, it seems, and sometimes all that she wants is that little house by the wetlands, that lawn that always ended up being a pain to mow, the old and rickety rocking chairs sitting on the porch. Sometimes it's all she can dream of, sitting there and letting the sun soak into her cheeks. The island prevents that, thrumming a low spin of tension into her stomach, always afraid of people leaving, or people arriving, or their whole world being turned on its side as a result of things she can get her mind around.

The people, though, she could get used to that. Things with Mitchell aren't perfect, and Sookie suspects that they may never be. Along with dreams of that white picket fence, so have notions of a true and painless love completely vanished. But she's in a decent enough of a place, and when she sees Mathias smiling in her direction, she can only hope that he is, too.

"Hey there, handsome," she greets, hands stuffed in the pockets of the light blue cotton cardigan she has on, a bright sunflowered dress worn underneath.

[plantfood]

After all this time -- more than a month, really, now that he's thinking about it -- he thought he'd managed to work out what he felt. Sometimes, though, his head and his heart aren't quite in the same place and when he realizes it's Sookie he's waved to, there's a small, excited lurch in his chest that he has to quiet. They've had their time and he knows, better than most, the choices she had to make and why she had to make them. He's worked through it in his head, knowing it's for the best, knowing a part of him is still waiting for Veronica to come back, that it isn't fair to be with anyone when he's still caught up in someone who's been gone now for nearly ten months.

It isn't fair and yet, there's still that surge of excitement to see her.

"Hello," he answers as Hal gets up, her tail wagging, and goes to Sookie to sniff at the hem of her dress and around her feet. For a moment, he wishes he had Sam with him. Every so often she asks when Sookie is going to come back and colour with her, but Mathias has no answer for her. He knows that it's better she's not here, not right now, the first time seeing each other after New Year's Eve, but he also knows it would make her happy. Maybe in time, though, he'll be able to ask Sookie to come back and see the little girl. He remembers telling her that all he needed was a little time, that he thinks they could still be friends and he stands by that.

[justsookie]

She crouches once the dog's reached her, lips curved in a grin as she pays Hal a proper amount of attention and care. Maybe she's just trying to avoid the more awkward encounter of the two, putting it off until she can settle the strange way that her heart feels, almost as though tied up and twisted. What she feels for Mathias isn't love in the way that she feels for Mitchell, she knows that. While there was the potential for so much there, Sookie also ended it early enough to keep from falling in too deep. She never feels comfortable with the idea of being in love with more than one person at once, and comfort ends up being a strong motivator.

That said, she's still glad to see him. There's an apology always in her expression, hoping that he can forgive her for those whims that she'd indulged the night she met him, clutching to the notion of a good thing and a new opportunity, even when all signs pointed to it being too early for her. No one left a year-long, loving, and passionate relationship without being left in a lurch for a while.

And she'd misjudged, in her way.

But she looks up soon enough, intent on making it right. "How've you been?" Sookie asks from where she's still petting the dog, smile soft as she stares up at Mathias, nothing but fond.

[plantfood]

"Good," he answers honestly, not even needing to hesitate or think about the answer. It's nice to be able to do that, when so much of his time on the island since Veronica's disappearance has been difficult. But he is doing well, all things considered, though sometimes he still wonders about what might have been. Even that isn't fair and it isn't Sookie's fault, so he smiles at her, genuinely pleased to see her.

"How have you been?" he asks in return, reaching for his towel finally, suddenly aware that he's sitting in the sand in his wet shorts. He rubs it over his hair, then drapes the towel around his shoulders and grins up at her. "Sorry, I'm still a little wet. I was just going for a dive."

Sometimes, he's still worried about running out of oxygen, because he knows the tanks will only last so long, but he also knows he can't stop diving either. It isn't an option for him, not when he's been doing it for so long.

[justsookie]

Sookie likes to think that it's a good sign that she notices his smile before anything else. Yes, the man's handsome, and if she puts too much thought into it right now with him still wet from a dive, she'd probably blush up a storm. They've seen parts of each other that most people never do, but more importantly than that, Sookie just remembers the young man who came and sat down across from her, who held the most lovely of conversations, who talked with her about families and home and everything in between.

And that part, she knows that she'd like to have again.

"Don't apologize, seriously," she smiles, shaking her head lightly as she stands awkwardly there, wondering if she should sit, or if she's meant to wait until he's ready to step somewhere a little drier. "Diving sounds like a ton of fun, so I can't blame you. I haven't been up to anything half as cool, but I've been... I've been good too."

[plantfood]

"That's good to hear," he says genuinely, then stands, knowing he can't invite her to sit here with him, not when he's managed to soak the sand around him. It's stuck to his shorts and his legs and he brushes himself off absently, then looks at the oxygen tank briefly.

"Have you ever gone diving?" he asks suddenly. It's one of those things he enjoys sharing and while he's happy to teach people he doesn't know well, it's one of those things he'd rather share with the people he cares about. His friends, those close to him. He's looking forward to the day when Sam is big enough that he can take her on a short, shallow dive, getting her used to the respirator and the mask.

It's something he'd like to share with Sookie, though, if she's interested. He's shown Neil, taken Claire, he might even be able to talk Lucy into it, but right now, he grins and nods toward it. "I should teach you sometime." Not now, not when she's wearing such a pretty dress, but he hopes she'll say yes.

[justsookie]

Her lips are parted in a moment of indecision, not sure how much enthusiasm she should show at this type of offer, even though she feels herself just about ready to split into a grin from cheek to cheek at the thought. She's loved the water since getting here, the quality of it so clean and pristine compared to the wetlands and marshes that she usually knows, or the over-chlorinated waters at the local Y. And the thought of being able to dive deeper, to where she know the water will be bluer, where any number of creatures might swim, is enough to light her eyes with excitement.

"Do you really think I've gone diving? You remember that I've like, never really been anywhere, right? Except Louisiana. Which, if you don't know, is definitely not the best place for clean water," Sookie laughs, brushing her hair out of the way as a breeze picks up a few curls, smiling up at Mathias, before gazing out over the ocean, all of it suddenly seeming closer, open to her.

"I would love it if you could teach me."

[plantfood]

He's glad to see her light up at the possibility, pleased that, somehow, they've found something like this to smooth over what residual awkwarndess there might be from their conversation on New Year's Eve. When he told Sookie that he only needed some time, he genuinely meant it, but he's still been worried that they may tread too lightly around one another, only serving to make the situation more uncomfortable without need.

"I'd be happy to teach you," he says with a smile, looking pleased. "It's something I've been doing for... a long time. I love doing it and I love taking people down with me. I've taken Neil out and a girl I know named Claire. I'll take Sam, eventually, when she's big enough."

It's one of the few things he can talk about a lot, too, once of the things that get him genuinely excited. "There is a lot of things to learn before you can dive, but I think you would be a good student," he continues.

[justsookie]

"I try to be a fast learner," Sookie says, trying to give herself whatever amount of credit she can. No matter what she puts her mind to, Sookie isn't one who's easily turned away by the need to spend more time learning, practicing, or coming up against failure. School ended up being too much for her in the end, the prospect of university too daunting when she could hardly keep her mind on any single train of thought at a time, but the same could have been said of high school, and yet she pushed through. She pushed through, because it was free, because there was no excuse not to get her diploma. And these days, free of the ability, she realizes just how hard it really was, in ways that not everyone's probably capable of comprehending.

"I didn't know that there was a lot of stuff I'd have to learn before diving, though," she admits, curious. "Like what? I know how to swim, at least. I used to go down as far as I could into the ten foot pool, which probably doesn't sound all too impressive compared to diving, but... I can do that, at least, which has gotta be better than nothing."

[plantfood]

"It is," Mathias says with a grin. "It's easier to learn when you already know how to swim, but there are other things to learn. How to be safe, for one, knowing the hand signals you use to communicate with other divers under water. How to clear your mask under water, how to use the respirator. What to do if it falls out of your mouth so you can find it quickly, because if you're down thirty or forty meters, it's too far to get back up in time."

He's more animated now, his hands gesturing as he speaks, excited about the prospect of teaching Sookie these things. It doesn't even occur to him that he should be feeling awkward or uncomfortable and later on, he'll be grateful for that. "You might be more comfortable in a wet suit as well." He doesn't always wear one, mostly because he doesn't dive deep enough or long enough to feel the water when it gets colder, but he knows it's easier, sometimes, to learn when one isn't worrying about how the water feels.

"It isn't necessary here, but it might make it easier," he continues. "But other than that, I have all the equipment we would need. A mask, an extra respirator. Your own tank, once you've gotten comfortable in the water."

[justsookie]

For someone who often seems so calm, it's refreshing to see that energy turn up, palpable, pushing him past the image that Sookie's so solidly built already just from having known him from their few encounters. (Not that the encounters mean nothing, of course. Sookie can't remember the last time that she's bonded with someone that quickly— but at the same time, they were still limited in number.) That only serves to inspire Sookie in turn, her lips widening in a wide smile as she listens to all of it, nodding now and again.

"Gosh, I can't even imagine what it must be like to be so far below the water," she marvels, shaking her head. "Doesn't that like... give you a headache or something? It's so deep, I can't imagine that you wouldn't feel the pressure. I remember feeling the pressure just from when I was in the local pool. And wow, I had— I had no idea that you had all this stuff. The island always seems to figure out how to provide us with no end of hobbies to keep us busy."

On a worse day, she might've thought it part of some conspiracy theory, or a way to keep them all on the island. Today, though, she just views it as something to be glad for, through and through. Everyone should have this, she thinks. Something to occupy themselves with.

[plantfood]

Mathias nods his agreement at Sookie's question, which is a good one and something people don't often think to ask. "Divers are trained in various ways to clear their ears before they're allowed to be certified," he says. "That's what prevents damage to your sinuses or eardrums while the pressure changes. It's the same as being on an airplane and there's really no right way to do it. I'm sure you've done it before." Especially if she's noticed it while being in the pool.

He looks at the equipment behind him and shrugs, smiling faintly. "I received all I would need the year before last and then last year it gave me additional equipment to teach someone and several more oxygen tanks. I have to be careful with how much I use, especially since it gave me nothing like that this year, but there's plenty left. I ration it well."

One day he's going to run out, but until then, he's just going to keep hoping that the island gives him enough to get by with.

[justsookie]

"Clear... their ears. Huh. Now that you mention it, that one time I flew on a plane, I started learning that I really needed to keep on swallowing or yawning to make sure that the pressure in my ears didn't build too much," she nods in return, before flushing a little around her cheeks, just a tinge of pink dusting her complexion. "Although, I uh. I started forgetting that lesson before long, once I realized that riding first class entitled one to any number of drinks. That was... something else."

She rubs her thumb curiously over her lip, glancing over at the equipment, and feeling a rare surge of gratitude towards the island for providing Mathias with all of these things.

"I think it's great," she blurts out, grinning. "That you've got all of this. I mean, not only is it great for those of us who want to see more of the island, who knows, it could come in handy in any number of other ways, too. Helping people to dive further even without equipment, for instance."

[plantfood]

Mathias laughs, not entirely surprised, really, but amused all the same. "Well, I can't promise you free drinks with diving, which is usually for the best," he teases gently, though he knows how lovely first class can be. He and Henrich had gotten drunk on a good number of flights during their years of traveling together, Henrich getting louder and louder until he'd pass out, Mathias finding himself more and more grateful that his brother passed out so quickly.

"I'm not much of a free diver," he admits, knowing how dangerous it can be. "But I've let the council know that I have this equipment, that if they should need a diver for anything, it's available. I'm available. I think there are other people on the island who dive, too. Maybe even some who free dive." He thinks he's seen it now and then, but it isn't something he wants to do and he doesn't know enough to teach anyone.

[justsookie]

"And I'm not much of any diver, so I don't really have plans to free dive, but I feel like if any situation comes up that makes it necessary, it'd be good for people to have some practice, at least, of being down there. I hear, and maybe this is all bullcrap, but I hear that it gets really dark down there depending on how far you go. I remember it getting dark whenever I went down far enough in the pool," Sookie reasons, stepping slightly closer, arms easily crossed over her chest, "so it feels like diving will only be that several times over."

She presses a hand to her chin, thoughtful. Is this, she wonders, what Mathias spends his free time on? There's a part of it that feels so much more romantic to her than what she does, simply serving people at the Winchester. Diving's all about finding a different world.

"You know," she points out with a grin, "I was so the biggest Ariel fan when that first came out."

[plantfood]

"It does get darker. Light has a harder time filtering through the water, but we wouldn't be going down so far that it would make much of a difference," he tells her, glad that she's offering up information she's heard, asking whether or not it's true. It gives him hope that she'll be a quick study, that she'll enjoy it, maybe as much as he does.

He grins when she mentioned The Little Mermaid, trying to remember how old he'd been when that came out. When they were small, his mother had taken them to the movies only occasionally and he thinks Henrich threw a fit about having to see what he called 'a girl's movie'.

"Well, there are no singing crabs down there," he tells her. "I'm sorry to disappoint."

[justsookie]

"Oh, darn," Sookie laughs, snapping her fingers. There's a moment when she almost finds it amazing that the two of them are able to laugh again, and in that moment, she finds that she can't— and hasn't, really— bring up any amount of regret over the times that they shared together. However impulsive, however the two of them might not have been ready for it, there's something about that intimacy that lingers still, makes it possible for them to know deeper parts of one another without having to ask. "I was so hoping for the singing crabs and adorable guppies, but I guess with my luck, I'd probably get the shark and nothing else."

She pauses, glancing one way, then the other.

"Wait, I know that I was joking about that, but... are there sharks? You know, of the great white kind that would come after me during Shark Week?"

[plantfood]

"There are, yes," Mathias admits, because it would be silly to deny that there are dangers to diving. As far as he knows, though, there hasn't been a single shark attack here and he's never seen any great whites himself. That doesn't make it impossible, though, especially when it comes to just seeing one. "I have never run into one, though, and I don't know anyone else who has either, but it's something to be aware of. There are other dangerous creatures, too. Jellyfish, mostly, but there are some reef sharks that are usually fairly timid."

Usually isn't always, though, and he knows what to look for. "It's part of why you don't go alone until you're more experienced," he explains. "I know what sort of sealife to look out for, things we shouldn't get close to. You'll learn them, too." But until then, he'll dive with her. The last thing Mathias wants to do is put anyone he cares about in danger.

[justsookie]

"Well, that's comforting, that you've been doin' this for a while and have never come across any sharks in that amount of time. I know I don't really have a reason to start freaking out about sharks when I don't even know where they swim or if they'd even be interested in me at all," Sookie considers, before offering an embarrassed smile in his direction— dealing with the thought of the ocean still manages to be new to her, even after so much time on the island, and she's struck with the sudden regret over not having tried this earlier. "But it's one of the first things that you think of when there's water, like... like Jaws or something."

She rests her chin on her knuckles, glancing over in sharp interest. "I'd love to learn, though, really. When do you think we'd be able to start?"

[plantfood]

She's right to be wary of it. Although he doubts anything so dramatic as that movie can happen to the two of them, he also can't discount it entirely. Not when they live here, the place where dramatic things seem to happen just to shake up the residents. There's a part of him that thinks to mention the wreck of the boat on the other island, the one straight out of Jaws, but he decides against it. The only thing he can rely on is his own experience and so far, the water has been safe.

"Soon," he says thoughtfully. "We would want to find you a wet suit if you think you would be more comfortable in one, make sure the mask fits. At first we won't actually be doing any diving. I'll teach you how to retriever your respirator while we're standing in a few feet of water. You don't want to have to learn when you can't breathe." That only makes it dangerous and it's not worth the risk. They have all the time in the world on the island.

[justsookie]

"Oh, totally. I'd be up for whatever prep you think I'd need before actually diving deep into the water, because you're right, no matter how far I go, it'd be nice to actually know how to breathe first," she laughs, voice slightly nervous as she thinks about how it might feel not to be able to grab at air. She's never been very claustrophobic, but the thought itself makes that fear strike across her, brief and fleeting. "Because darkness, being alone, I can handle those things on their own, but I'm pretty sure no air would just seal the deal in the wrong way."

Lifting her gaze to the sky and trying to decide if wearing a wet suit would look slimming or absolutely ridiculous, Sookie asks, "So how does the wet suit make things easier? Or is it more just a preference sort of thing? Because all I know is that they look kinda tight and hard to breathe in."

[plantfood]

"Mostly preference, especially if you're more prone to getting cold," Mathias explains. "In the water here it isn't necessary, but some people like it better. It, um..." He pauses, trying to find the right words in English, his hands gesturing absently for a moment. "Creates a layer of water between you and the suit and your body heat makes it warm. It's also good if you're going to be diving places where they may be a lot of rocks or coral, things that could cut you, but again, we wouldn't be doing things like that right away."

He only wears a wet suit during cold water dives, which he hasn't actually done in some time. Years before his arrival on the island even, which is strange to think of. It's another life, another person.

"I don't use one here," he says. "The water is generally warm enough for short dives, though if you stay out for very long, you will probably get cold. It's the same as going for a swim in the ocean, though, so you know best how you'll feel."

[justsookie]

"Oh!" Sookie nods in understanding, squinting to try to put into words what she can already imagine from Mathias' description. "So it's like... holding the warmer water next to your body. Keeping it in the suit. Like when you step into a pool and feel warmer after the first few seconds, then cold again when you start swimming through it." She presses her hand curiously to her lips, wondering what her tolerance is for that. The water deeper below must be a lot colder than the bay, she thinks, as she's pretty sure that it's the sun doing all of the warming, and those rays don't travel too far.

"I might need to test it out with and without," she concludes with a slight flinch. "I'm so clueless with this stuff, and even though we've got beaches all around us, I spend more time sunbathing than swimming. Mostly 'cause I get so lazy about reapplying sunblock."

[plantfood]

"There is nothing wrong with that," Mathias answers simply. He doesn't expect Sookie to immediately know what her preferences will be, especially since she's never gone diving before. It takes time to get comfortable in the water, he's just glad for the opportunity to teach her. More than that, he's pleased that whatever awkwardness he was worried might be between them seems to be gone. Maybe it isn't fair to either of them that he's been so concerned with that, but he's happy to be wrong about it.

"We could go to the box and find a suit in your size," he suggests. "Then you can go for a swim with it, see how it feels. If it isn't comfortable, then you can try without. There's really no right or wrong way to dive, especially here." They're not diving for exploration and they're not going out for very far or very deep. It's pure recreation and there are really no rules beyond learning how to clear her mask and use the respirator properly.

[justsookie]

"Let's do it," Sookie agrees, beaming. If there's a moment's hesitation, it only comes from the fact that she has to marvel at how quickly the two of them are somehow able to find their footing again in spite of all that happened. Sookie's inclined to think that it's a result of Mathias being the man that he is, impossibly kind and generous to a fault; she can't, somehow, imagine being in a fight with him, can't imagine him making too much of a deal out of anything. Maybe it's just rose-tinted glasses, she thinks, forming out of her relief at not being suddenly shunted to the side in wake of their brief attempt at something more, but whatever it is, she's gained a friend, and that's not a fact that she plans on forgetting anytime soon.

"I've got some free time now, if you want. Or... depending on your schedule, we could always figure out some other time. I'm guessing that diving during the day's a better idea, right? Are there such things as nocturnal sea life that only comes out at night? 'Cause that would admittedly freak me out," Sookie remarks, pulling a face in the direction of the water.