[Neil]

[plantfood]

On the beach, sitting on a towel near the water, watching Sam as she plays in the shallow water, Mathias wishes his cast was off already. He has only a few days left, hopefully, but he wants to be in that water with her now, he wants to be diving and swimming and surfing, but he still can't do any of those things. It isn't that he's in a bad mood, just that he's feeling restless and restricted. Though no one would know it to look at him, he's also faintly troubled about his actions lately.

It's something he'd done as a much younger man, after his heart had been broken, visiting pubs with Henrich, getting drunk and ending up in bed with a girl he hadn't known. He's always thought he's grown out of that, but apparently he hasn't. His heart is broken and so he's looked for something to drown that out, but the problem with doing that on the island is that no one is really a stranger.

Not that he had even tried to seek out someone he didn't know. Lost in his own thoughts, he doesn't notice the dogs sniffing around Sam at first.

"King, no!" he calls when the big dogs knocks her over and for a moment she just looks at Mathias, as if she's deciding whether or not she wants to cry, then begins to whimper. It's a bit of a display, but eventually Mathias manages to heave himself to his feet and hops across the sand to where Sam is sitting, trying to keep himself out of the water.

"Can you stand up and come with me, honey?" he asks, holding his hands out to her.

"Pick me up," Sam says and Mathias winces.

"A few more days yet," he tells her, still holding his hands out, standing on one foot in the shallow waters on the beach.

Comments

[little_moons]

"I figured you'd be okay. I mean, I've never done anyone serious injury before," I smirk, and there are a lot of other things I could say, like I'd be up for another go, once that thing comes off, if he were into it, but I'm pretty fuckin' sure he's not.

One of the downsides of fuckin' a straight boy while you've got tits.

"Hey," I call down the beach, sitting forward a little when I notice Mack walking a little too far into the water for my comfort, "Too far! What did I tell you 'bout that?"

She groans -- Aw, come on! -- and stamps her foot, but I motion again, giving her a look that means business, and she stomps her way back into the shallower tide. Honestly, I can't believe she listens to me, half the time. It's always a little bit of a surprise.

[plantfood]

It's easier then, to relax on the towel, knowing he hasn't destroyed one of the few friendships he has on the island. It's easy enough to know people, he's always been fine talking to strangers and listening to their stories, but he isn't the type to share much of anything with anyone. There are so few people here he's close to that he doesn't want to lose that.

Sam's been following Mack out into the water, but she follows her back, too, shooting glances at Mathias the whole way, watching to see if she's going to be scolded, too.

"I never thought I would have any kids at all," he says. She isn't his, not in that way, but at the same time she's become his.

[little_moons]

"Yeah?" I ask, relaxing back on my elbows, grimacing when Max wanders over and curls up against my side, his fur wet and sandy.

I realize, I don't know that much about Mathias' life, before the island, and I know just 'cause a guy's straight, that doesn't mean he's automatically planning for kids, but I'm still kind of surprised to hear him say it.

"How come?"

[plantfood]

At heart, Mathias is a tourist, never content to stay anywhere for very long. Had he not died on that hill, he expects he would have spent much of his time traveling for the rest of his life, and died somewhere else, somewhere far from Germany. "Selfishness, I suppose," he says after a moment. "I could never stay in one place for long."

And he can't imagine leaving a child behind or dragging one all over the world, forcing them to never settle, never have a home or friends.

[little_moons]

"My best friend and I used to talk about travelin', but we never really went anywhere. I mean, she packed up and moved to New York after school or whatever, and I followed her, but I was here just a couple months later," I admit with a cough of laughter. I wanted to bad to get outta Hutchinson, but I never had the same itch to keep moving that Wendy had. I think, most days, all she wanted was for the two of us to get in a car, start drivin' and never stop.

That's probably why she hated it here, so much. No where to move to.

"Shit, man, this place must drive you fuckin' crazy."

[plantfood]

"Why do you think I went over to the other island?" Mathias asks with a faint smile. The only way he knew how to deal with Veronica being gone was to move. Go somewhere. Even if it wasn't all that far.

"It's hard to not be moving," he admits. "Very hard."

[little_moons]

"'Cause you're a fuckin' idiot?" I say with a crooked grin, "And I followed you for the same damn reason."

We haven't talked much about it, about whatever it was he thought he saw down there, whatever it was he was so scared of. I wasn't even down there with him, so I don't know what was goin' on, but from what I could hear, I know it wasn't good.

"I wanted to leave Hutchinson more than anything, but I dunno... I don't think I could keep movin' like that on my own." I've never been very good at being alone. That's not the sorta person that makes a good tourist.

[plantfood]

That's part of the problem, Mathias thinks. For so long, he hadn't been alone. First there had been Henrich, moving from place to place with him, traveling and visiting and being tourists together. Veronica hadn't been a replacement, not at all, but he hadn't been alone on the island for very long before meeting her and though they hadn't moved around a lot, she'd been a constant, just like Henrich.

Now he's alone. Now he has to figure out a way to do everything he'd done before, but without anyone else.

"My brother came with me," he says finally, smiling slightly. "Most places, anyway." Not here. Henrich could never come here.

[little_moons]

"Were you with him, before you ended up here?" I ask, scratching behind Max's ears when he nudges at my hand with his nose.

Mathias has never talked much, and if he's mentioned anything about his brother, I can't remember. I've known him for a while, now, but he doesn't exactly offer up information. Honestly, over the last week, I feel like he's said more words to me than he has in years of knowing him.

[plantfood]

"No. No, he had died already," Mathias answers and it's as simple as that. His brother is dead and Veronica is gone. No amount of wishful thinking is going to bring either of them back. "I was with some..." He's hesitant to call them friends -- except for Stacy -- but he can't think of what else they were either. They were friends at the time, the kind he'd always met on vacations. Friends for a week before you forget them, but he can't forget these ones.

"Some other tourists," he says finally. "Friends, I suppose."

[little_moons]

"Shit, man, I didn't know..." I say, frowning, though I don't know if it's worth feeling guilty for bringing it up. Not when he's so matter of fact about it.

Flo wanders over, her eyes wide and fixed on something resting in her palms. "Look," she breathes, leaning forward so I can see the little sand dollar she's found, a kind of greenish brown instead of the bleached white you see in souvenir stores, and probably still alive.

"That's really cool, kiddo. Why don't you show Mathias," I say to her, grinning crookedly as she walks across the towel with her sandy feet to show him what she's got.

[plantfood]

"Me too," Sam says, trailing after Flo, trying to take a peek at what she's found and Mathias holds his arms out to her so they can look at it together.

"That's very nice," he says to Flo. "Did you know that they're alive? Animals that live in the water."

Maybe she already knows this; it's another area he needs to work out, discovering what it is that little girls do and don't know already. Sam, though, sounds surprised that he's said this and she stares at him for a moment, trying to figure out if that's true or not.

[little_moons]

"No it's not," Mack argues, coming between them and reaching over to poke at it with her fingertip, but Flo curls around it protectively, squealing out a distressed, "Stop!"

"Hey, calm down," I tell them both, giving Mack a don't you fucking dare look when she reaches for it again, though the look she gives back to me is a challenge, and I know she's just biding her time.

And just like clockwork, the sand dollar moves in Flo's palm, it's tiny little legs or whatever the fuck it has tickling her palm, and she shrieks, dropping it to the towel and taking a step back. "See?" I say to all three of them, smirking when they all lean down in unison to get a closer look at it.

[plantfood]

"I want one," Sam says, looking up at Mathias. Before he can answer, though, she's turned back to the shallow waters to look for one on her own and he imagines he doesn't have much of a say in it if she actually finds one.

"Four dogs, but that is not enough to keep her occupied," Mathias mutters, shaking his head in amusement. "No, she must have a sand dollar as well."

Maybe he'll find some kind of bowl and they can get a fish, because he has no idea how he's going to keep a sand dollar alive.

[little_moons]

"It's not like you gotta worry 'bout keepin' it alive. Doubt she could tell the difference," I point out, snorting out a laugh when Flo parks her ass between us, squeezing her way into the space and tucking herself against my side, the sand dollar back safely in her palms.

"Anyway, 'til you gotta damn pig and two cats to deal with, I got you beat."

[plantfood]

"This is a competition I am alright with losing," he answers with a grin of his own, looking down at the towel he's sitting on, then at Sam out in the water. "I never liked dogs either and now I have four to look after." He misses his cat now and then, though he imagines the baker's daughter adopted him and looked after him when Mathias never came home.

It's rare that he thinks about Munich, but he does now, wondering what people said when he and Henrich never returned.

[little_moons]

"How the hell did you even end up with that many?" I laugh. The sand dollar is sitting on the towel, now, and Flo's watching it, waiting for it to move again, playing idly with the ring on my finger. The wedding ring I haven't been able to bring myself to take off.

Normally, I don't even notice it's there, but she's brought attention to it, and now, it's all I can do not to pull my hand away. I'm still smiling, but it feels off, and it's weird, but I can't really decide if I want him not to notice, or if it'd be better, somehow, if he would.

[plantfood]

"Taser is Veronica's and Rembrandt is Sam's," Mathias says, looking at the dogs that are milling around. "A friend of River's disappeared some months back and she... she'd lost so many people, I couldn't bear to make her deal with the dogs, too. I offered to take them."

And he's grown to love them, too.

He glances down when Flo starts to play with Neil's hand and smiles sympathetically at the sight of the ring. If he and Veronica had been married, he suspects he'd never take the ring off either.

[little_moons]

"Lennox," I nod, pointing to the dog trailing along behind King, "That's how we ended up with Gordon."

Honestly, when we took Gordon, I didn't even really ask Mike what happened to the other dogs. I was just kinda glad we didn't end up with the whole fuckin' pack.

I drop a kiss to the top of Flo's head, huffing out a laugh when she cuddles up closer against my side. They've sort of seesawed between being unusually clingy, to defiantly independent, over the last few weeks.

[plantfood]

"I FOUND ONE!" Sam shouts from the water, startling Mathias out of whatever he'd been about to say. She runs back to the towel and proudly displays a handful of seaweed to Neil, then says, "Look!" and points to a round, flat rock in the middle of all of it.

It isn't a sand dollar, but if she wants to take that home, Mathias will be more than happy to let her.

"That's very nice," he tells her, but she frowns at him.

"Neil look," she insists. "Not you."

[little_moons]

"Wow, let's see that," I say, leaning over like I'm real interested, then cutting him a look.

Mack barges her way into the conversation, peeking around Sam's shoulder, frowns and says, "It looks dead."

"It is not!" Flo argues, like Sam's sand dollar needs defending.

[plantfood]

"Is it dead?" Sam asks Mathias and it's silly, but he wishes Veronica could answer this question for him. He doesn't know what to say, if he should tell her that it's not a sand dollar at all or if he should let her believe what she wants.

"What do you think?" he settles on saying finally, looking at Neil with an expression that clearly reads, Help me.

[little_moons]

Rolling my eyes at him, my lips turned up in a teasing, but sympathetic smirk, I say, "I think it's a rock, kiddo. It wasn't alive in the first place."

Clasping Mathias on the shoulder, I push to my feet, nudging all three girls back toward the sand. "Come on, we'll find you somethin'."

Looking back at him with a crooked grin, I say, "We'll be back in a minute. I'll make sure it's nothin' she needs a damn tank for."

[plantfood]

"Much appreciated," Mathias answers with a laugh, even as Sam pouts and then immediately brightens. It might be a rock, but with Neil helping her, she seems sure that they'll find something exciting.

"Come on! I want a big fish!" she says, grabbing Neil's hand and pulling him toward the water.