"If you're scared, do something," I mutter. How many times have I said those words to Maddie and to myself, and had them thrown back to me? Buck up, lassie, I order myself in my brother Jamie's voice. Ridiculous as it is, it helps.

I manage to stop sniveling, and wipe my face on my sleeve.

"Yes. All right. Get him out of the sun." It's easier if I focus on keeping John safe, rather than myself. I feel like I'll be all right as long as he is. I just really wish he'd wake up and tell me so himself.